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Being Selfish

Cheers to being single and loving it. 


This phase of my life is called " Being Selfish" I'm twenty-nine soon to be thirty on a journey of redemption, still trying to find myself, and all I can say is it sucks, big time. 

I am the biggest advocate of Qadr, everything that happens good or bad is Allah's will, so I do not cry over spilled milk. 

However, when you are the first child of a Yoruba woman, who is running out of patience because at your age she had left her first marriage with two kids, and already chilling with her second husband. She wants to throw a wedding that will shut down Lagos. 

As a lover girl, attraction is very important to me, I will not marry anyone or anything. I have to wake up every morning feeling good about the choice I made, even on the bad days, the sparks must be present, or else, baby girl will step out. 

I do not lie to myself, I am my biggest cheerleader and critic, no one on God's earth knows me more than I know myself, the only thing that keeps me grounded is the fear of hellfire. 

At this stage, I am lowkey embracing the single rich aunty tag and I'm not mad at it. 

I feel sorry for my mother at times, not having any grandchildren, to make her happy, if I do not get married within the next year. I will most likely have a child. 

Do not give me a lecture on what my religion says, I am very aware. You do not write or own my destiny. 

Why will I have a child to shut my mother up? I might not be married, but at least I'm not infertile, well I hope not. 

I refuse to be in my fifties, doing school runs or attending PTA meetings, instead of sitting in a mansion sipping coffee surrounded by books. 

No, thank you. 

I am very tired of talking to new people, getting to know someone and the temporary excitement, it takes a lot of energy and can be exhausting, physically and mentally.  Deciding if you want to keep them as friends or let them go completely.

The essence of this gist is that I am embracing my single self, making a two years plan to take control. 

I am very excited to see how it all works out, I might get to live out my plan or eat my words. 

Might not even live to see thirty-two, heck I might die before 30. God knows. 

XXXX 

Kayah 

Comments

  1. Anonymous5 August 2023 at 05:42

    Salaam aliekum Kayah
    Thanks for this blog cos I’m in my 20’s and I haven’t figure out my life at 26 no relationship at all no man to ask about your ones day was but like you said u are a big fan of Qadr I don’t know you but as from today I will emulate that word from you
    Thanks for this blog

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ruqkayah5 August 2023 at 12:24

      It's okay not to have it all figured out. Are you happy? Are you content ?

      Delete
  2. Anonymous5 August 2023 at 09:17

    This was a great read! And of course, I wish all the happiness you deserve!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous5 August 2023 at 12:33

    I reallyyy love reading your posts, you’re a fantastic writer and you know how to keep readers glued to the very end. May Allah grant you what is beneficial for you ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  4. Viron9 August 2023 at 20:39

    A great read. Keep it up 👍

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous12 September 2023 at 15:23

    A great read. Don’t over work your self. Everything is going to be alright joor

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous2 October 2023 at 21:02

    Ngl at this point. I’m a guy after your heart with willingness to add more beauty to your world; constant positive vibes, laughter, goosebumps and personal development on steroids. Only issue is I’m in Lagos. Good side, I’m a lawyer and doing very well for myself. I followed you but you’ve not followed back probably because my account is private and you’ll need to request. You can reach me via badamosiabdullahiabdullahi@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  7. Anonymous10 November 2023 at 01:24

    You write refreshingly. Do you mind me having your number? You can put it out in reverse order in three tweets. Sounds good? You may not publish this comment.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous21 November 2023 at 09:54

    Your blog is therapeutic, please when are you dropping another? I’m in my “self discovery era”

    ReplyDelete

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