KAYAH : THE MUSINGS OF A STRUGGLING MUSLIM

Cheers to being single and loving it.  This phase of my life is called " Being Selfish" I'm twenty-nine soon to be thirty on a journey of redemption, still trying to find myself, and all I can say is it sucks, big time.  I am the biggest advocate of Qadr, everything that happens good or bad is Allah's will, so I do not cry over spilled milk.  However, when you are the first child of a Yoruba woman, who is running out of patience because at your age she had left her first marriage with two kids, and already chilling with her second husband. She wants to throw a wedding that will shut down Lagos.  As a lover girl, attraction is very important to me, I will not marry anyone or anything. I have to wake up every morning feeling good about the choice I made, even on the bad days, the sparks must be present, or else, baby girl will step out.  I do not lie to myself, I am my biggest cheerleader and critic, no one on God's earth knows me more than I know myself, the only...

This is not a new year new me post so keep your knickers on...  Hi guys,    I've had zero motivation to blog the last few weeks. Scratch that, I've made a few attempts, and abandoned them because I was not feeling the posts. I have them in my drafts, might go back to review them or not.  Back to the gist of this post, I'm trying to take full control of my finances. If you know me, you will know I love buying, retail therapy is my thing. I shop when I'm happy, or sad. When I have a bad day at work, I buy myself something, when I have a good  day at work, I shop, when life is kicking my butt, I shop, when life is good, I shop, when I'm bored I shop.  I have every excuse in the book to shop, so why not?  I don't have kids to worry about, no black tax, health insurance paid, little bills and sadaqah is also covered, pension contributions also covered. I have this money comes, money goes mindset, I spend it as I make it, cos the next payday is around the co...

I turn twenty-nine in four days, the last year of my twenties. I was over with my twenties after I hit twenty-seven and I was mad excited for my thirties. It's mad funny, in my teens I did not want to age, I was excited about 18, and every age after was welcomed with sadness.  Getting older equals, responsibility, marriage, death, etc. The last nine years were tough, at twenty-one, I was living my best life, uni, etc, I had my old blog, and was posting every week, not a bother. At twenty-two, I finished uni, started law school, fell in love, had my first orgasm &experienced my first heartbreak. I lost the zeal for partying, clubbing, and the likes. At twenty-three I was still in love, law school was kicking my ass, I had zero worries, and my wants and needs were taken care of by my parents. At twenty-three sex was different, I knew exactly what I wanted, and how I wanted it. The only worry I had was the man in my life at the time. I wrote my bar finals and passed on the first a...

The hardest thing for me on this journey towards being a better Muslimah is finding out new things about Islam, the requirements of the Sunnah, and knowing I have to abide by them. Ignorance can be bliss but not when it comes to matters of the Deen.  I can be a Diva sometimes, and I  enjoy my Diva moments.  I love getting my lashes and nails done, there is this extra pazazz a hybrid cat eye set gives your face, and makes you look fabulous. My stiletto acrylic set is always like talons, and I love every centimeter.  I have SPMU brows and multiple piercings ( 18 ), a year ago I found out it's not permissible to pierce anywhere in the body asides from the ears and "nose" (this however is controversial ). Four of my piercings do not fall into that category.  Back to my brows, SPMU for those who don't know is semi-permanent brows, microblading, and the lot,  I also found out they are not permissible a few weeks after I got my touch-up. Simply told me not to go n...

Hi guys,  I honestly don't know how to start this one, so I guess I'll dive right in: this post is about my struggles with Arabic, learning et all.  As a child I hated Madrasah or (ile-kewu) as it's fondly called by the Yorubas, I hated it because the Ustadhs (Alfas) were MEAN, they had no mercy, they flogged for anything and everything, I was a bit of rebel growing up, still one. So I started making up excuses not to go, Madrasah was mandatory when we visited my grandmother, it wasn't at my house, so I made up all sorts of excuses not to go. I also remember seeing an Ustadh touch a lady inappropriately on the way home one night and that left a bad taste in my mouth, I was very young, but something about it did not sit right with me. 

Hi guys,  I promised I'll make efforts to post weekly, so here is my second blog post, typed this almost a week ago but I was too lazy to proofread and edit. No, I'm not in Starbucks sipping on a frappe, I'm on a tight budget this month, had to pay for new glasses which set me back a few hundred euros, and a silly decision I made last month cost me another 200 euros. So from now until the next payday, there is rice at home.  Eating jollof rice and plantain as I type, God, bless the person who came up with plantain and his descendants. Backstory on this batch of Jollof, one of the team leads at the office found out about Jollof from another Nigerian girl at the office, she promised to bring some in but didn't. He asked if can make it, and I said yeah, my desk is very close to his, he predicted and I gave in. I don't know if you guys can relate, Jollof for me is either a hit, a miss or in-between and I think I've perfected my recipe, but I was scared giving him th...