KEEPING UP WITH THE HIJAB.

Hi guys, 

I promised I'll make efforts to post weekly, so here is my second blog post, typed this almost a week ago but I was too lazy to proofread and edit.

No, I'm not in Starbucks sipping on a frappe, I'm on a tight budget this month, had to pay for new glasses which set me back a few hundred euros, and a silly decision I made last month cost me another 200 euros. So from now until the next payday, there is rice at home. 

Eating jollof rice and plantain as I type, God, bless the person who came up with plantain and his descendants.

Backstory on this batch of Jollof, one of the team leads at the office found out about Jollof from another Nigerian girl at the office, she promised to bring some in but didn't.

He asked if can make it, and I said yeah, my desk is very close to his, he predicted and I gave in.

I don't know if you guys can relate, Jollof for me is either a hit, a miss or in-between and I think I've perfected my recipe, but I was scared giving him the food, I gave it to him and added a can of malt as jara. The plan was to eat lunch together so he can rate it but I got so busy I didn't notice when he left, but the dude came back with a huge smile on his face and two bags of Haribo. He was chuffed and told everyone on the floor about his lunch. 

This post is not about jollof rice so I think I'll shut up now. :) 

I took a bold step last year Ramadan; started wearing the hijab, well not hijab like that but I started covering my hair.

That was my third attempt, tried it twice in uni and it lasted for a few weeks. It was not random or by impulse, I thought about it for months, I gave myself a time frame to start after my 30th birthday, which is still a year and a half away... 

I had a conversation with someone early last year and that hastened the process somewhat, so I set Ramadan as the target and went about my life.

I did not overthink it, simply told myself " start covering your hair the first day of Ramadan" got to  Lagos weeks before and was mentally prepped, I packed maybe two or three scarves for the trip.

I bought a few in Lagos, I was somewhat ready for the change, well I thought I was. I had a hair appointment two days before Ramadam started, I forgot about my plans and picked a simple style yet it looked ridiculous under a scarf.

I have locs (dreadlocs) but I hate using that word cos my hair is not dreadful, the style I picked had all my hair in two large plaits. *picture it * a full head of locks in two individual plaits.

 Did not clock until I woke up the next day, got ready and picked a scarf,  I looked ridiculous, two gigantic plaits standing individually on each side of my head like a horn.

I'm very particular about how people see me except on my IDGAF days.

It was very easy to start the change during Ramadan because a lot of people cover their hair during the holy month, I had a lot of compliments. People were quick to call me " Hajia and Alhaja everywhere I went. 

I went to a new tailor and sis started interrogating me... "Why?" " Are you sure you're not doing it for a man "? She went on to tell me how she had to wear a Khimar for a guy and he ended up leaving her. I told her with a big smile on my face "it's something I've always wanted ". She looked worried which I honestly did not understand. She is married to another man but does not cover up, which is none of my business.

I was not a fan. Some went on to say I looked like belonged to a particular tribe... * kindly crawl out of my butt *.

I had mixed feelings, I was nervous, sad and excited. 

Nervous because I didn't know how people would react.

Sad because of my clothes, I have a lot of clothes, and I had to find a way to make them fit into my new look,  a lot of my clothes at the time were skinny jeans, t-shirts, body con dresses, and wrap tops.

Excited because this is something I've always wanted and it is something Allah prescribed. I have this respect for women who covered their hair,  I have a huge level of admiration for them, utmost respect and feel they are better than I was when I didn't cover my hair.

Do I think I'm superior to those who don't, now that I cover my hair? Absolutely not, I simply hope they see the light the way I did.

A lot of my tops at the time showed a bit of cleavage, and the dresses were always tight, sometimes above the thighs. I was not happy letting go of my clothes, I was nowhere near ready to throw them out, so I got camisoles, to wear underneath and got a tailor to make me kimonos.

I started by tieing a scarf as a turban, don't get me started on scarf materials.  Why are chiffon scarves so hard to style? 

You can only use them as hijabs, yet they slip. I struggled with this a lot at the start, sometime I'll randomly look at the mirror and notice my scarf is halfway off my head, or it kept falling off my shoulder and I had to keep throwing it over my shoulder like an agbada. I only got the hang of using scarves as hijab maybe five / six weeks ago, got hijab pins, and clips. 

Finally, I can stop battling with my hijab seventy times a day.

So if you are just starting or thinking  about it, under scarves, pins and clips are your best friend. Amazon and Ali Express offer a wide range of accessories, one on the cheaper side but with a long wait for delivery. 

If you're in Lagos, Lagoon by Tom Jones beside the central mosque in Lagos Island is your best friend, I went there a few times but they were not giving what I wanted them to give, most of the scarves were covered in stones, beads or some form of lace material and I  just wanted plain ones. I also found it hard to get jersey scarves in Lagos so ended I up getting them from Ali Express when I got back to Dublin.

Another struggle was giving away my clothes, I honestly did not give them away until two months ago, at that point, it was not hard letting go, gave away a lot of new clothing. So don't put pressure on yourself, you're not going to change your entire wardrobe in one day, well only if you can afford to. Clothes are not cheap.

No one told me how hard shopping was going to be, I got very sad trying to shop online, I was on the site for what felt like an eternity, it was all crop tops, bandeau tops, tops exposing was too much boobage, mini dresses or dresses with a slit above the knee. I'm wearing more shirts and T-shirts these days, barely any dresses until I lose some weight so they won't be so tight and clingy.

I think the hardest part was putting outfits together with scarves, for my mum's birthday I got a dress made and couldn't find a scarf to go with it, cos I didn't see my dress until the morning of the party, I ended up wearing a scarf that was way off. 

Another hard part was tailors... Lagos tailors must you open the breast and add a slit to everything? One made a dress and my cleavage was exposed after I begged for a high neckline.

I still wear my skinny jeans, I'm not in that space for free trousers, picture this, I'm 5'1 -5'2, a size 14, I'll look ridiculous wearing free trousers and an oversized top or T-shirt. I'm starting to think of embracing Abayas, Khimars in the future may be, and maybe a Niqab.

Who knows? I've always had this secret admiration for women in niqabs's the solace it brings, 100% me.

I stopped getting my nails done (wudu), I still get acrylic stick-ons  made and sometimes I still wear them when I'm not off salah, but I'm hoping to phase them out soon... sorry TK ( my nail tech) 

I was super weird getting my hair all done, and covering it before I step out of the saloon.

I am a year and two months into the journey and I'm loving it, I have no regrets and I've never wished I didn't make the change. I'm more modest and funny enough I feel free yet protected. I've had a few sad moments here and there, but nothing serious.  I'm a proud owner of zero wigs, and almost 20 scarfs. 

I'm tired of hearing my thoughts so I'll stop here. 

Update: I got coffee on Friday, McDonald's a few hours ago.

This blog post is a week late.

XXXX

Kayah

Big ups to Nana for helping with the title 🙂.